LeishBlog

This morning I nearly threw up chunks when I discovered I had a $611 BlackBerry bill. Yes $600.

How?

That’s insane!

I know I know.

It is insane and I don’t know how.

The thought of me having to sell my new handbag and move into to a hostel ran through my mind, as I dialled the mobile phone company.

How did I do this?

How am I going to get out of this?

I am going to have to sell my eggs.

I explained to the mobile phone billing lady, she sounded sort of concerned and after a while agreed to knock $100 off the bill as a courtesy for me being a ‘loyal customer’.

Ok, so now I only owed $511.

Shit.

She said I had to talk to the ‘data people’ about my internet use. I talked to a nice guy, Ahmed and he said one of my browsers had been accessing the internet on a regular basis, racking up 90c for every 5 minutes.

Yikes.

Part of me was convinced I was going to have to bow out gracefully, disconnect the bloody thing and walk away, rendering me phone-less and communicationally bankrupt. (I don’t even know if communicationally is a real word…. It is now).

Why do I even need a BlackBerry?

Am I a high powered suit?

I like the way it looks and checking my facebook on the run.

Anyway I had me a lovely chat with the data guy Ahmed. Like the truck on moving day, I came to the decision that I was to fight on and I refused to go down with the ship…I was going to talk my way out of it.

$511 to go.

Now Amhed seemed like a nice guy. He reset the phone, got rid of my bad connections and then there was an awkward pause.

“Amhed, what will I do about the bill? $500 is a lot of money, just because a couple of buttons were pushed and I didn’t know about it,”

Pause.

“Call through to billing, I’ll sort it out, I will make some amendments,”

Me, not knowing what quite what ‘I’ll sort it out means’.

“Amhed you are a dude! Thank you thank you thank you thank you!”

I felt a bit like one of Jerry’s girlfriend in the Seinfeld episode The Calzone, Nikki, she can talk her way out of anything.

Jerry : So George . Remember when I told you Nikki gets whatever she wants . We are at the movies last night . It’s sold out . Nikki goes and talks to the manager . Right in .

George : Beautiful women . You know they could get away with murder . You never she any of them lift anything over three pounds . They get whatever they want whenever they want it . You can’t stop them .

Jerry : She’s like a beautiful Godzilla .

George : Without thousands of fleeing Japanese .

(I’m not suggesting that my beauty helped, my phone voice however…)

I talked to billing. They said my Bill was $79.95. She then said

“Oh it seems you have had $551 deducted from your bill?’

All I could say was,

“Thank bloody Christ I have ….a $600 bill I’ve never heard of anything so revolting in my life”.

Now I hate my BlackBerry. It can shove itself up its arse for the panic it caused me today. Fuck you BlackBerry I nearly had a break down.

Weekend was fabulous and amusing at the same time. Drinks on Friday night, laughed a lot, Ted got along really well with the Princess Nicole and Rowan The Hawk. After a couple of bevies we somehow agreed to go to Rowans parents’ house for Mothers day on Sunday. Yeah, bet you weren’t expecting that one!? Take my out of town guest to a friends mother house! Woo Hoo.

Rowan and Nicole refer to Rowans mum as ‘Cop mum’ because she asks a lot of questions….an interrogator. I thought it would be an eventful and amusing afternoon. It was.

On Saturday we walked across the Harbour Bridge ate Yum Cha and played the Playstaion game, Bully. It was fun, beating up on the nerds.

We also watched a film that I loved to hate, but Ted was scared of, Thirty Days of Night. It was about vampires…I prefer zombies.

Anyway back to Cop Mum, mothers day Sunday. It turned out that I turned on my parent charm and Rowans folks liked me,

They said,

“I was very entertaining and funny!”

We watched a dreadful movie, called Breaking and Entering….recommend it to people you hate…Good choice Rowan, even you Mum thought it was shit.

The Princess,Ted and I sang 80’s songs in the car home,

I hope Ted comes back. He suits Sydney and Sydney suits him.

Now I am going to check my BalckBerry to see if it secretly accessing web pages and making me bankrupt….still so angry. Shakes fist in air.