LeishBlog

I have returned from another trip to Melbourne for this weeks studio shoot for Out of the Question. I love shoot days, they always fly by, lots to do, extra research more questions and then there are the odd last minute jobs like finding a place to buy oranges for a joke that Glenn was keen to do. (it worked really well!) I do enjoy my time in Melbourne. We stay in a lovely boutique hotel in St Kilda, where we always share some wind down drinks at the end of the night, collapse into bed and then hurry our arses off in the morning, attempting to not to miss the plane. I must say the trips that I have been doing from Sydney to Melbourne have really helped me realise the value of online check in and how easy it is to show up at the airport 7 minutes before take off and that they still let you on the plane. Sure we regularly run through the terminal looking like idiots and our names are paged over the intercom, but we make it, huffing and puffing reading ourselves for in-flight sleep. Don’t believe the hype folks. If you do print out your boarding pass out, they think you are there so it buys you an extra fifteen minutes to get to the airport!

Yes being late for planes get you death stares from your fellow passengers as you walk the aisle of the plane and there usually is no room in the overheads for your luggage but hey, it’s worth it I suppose. As usual I found someone to fixate on during the flight. A geeky gay flight attendant, who was not eye candy and picked at people unnecessarily. A lady asked for 2 sugars for her coffee…
“Ohh don’t you have a sweet tooth, you’d better watch yourself!”
Another lady left her crusts from her sandwich. “
“Didn’t our mother tell you to eat your crusts, naughty you!”
This is not a person I want assiting me down the emergency slide. He’d probably comment on my arse,
“Oh, better lay off the kit kats, your wide load arse barely makes it off the plane!”

Dude get a life and loose the blond tips. They went out in 1992. At the shoot last night I stayed with our director Peter in the control room instead of on the studio floor. It’s fascinating watching studio TV directors work. They must have 5 brains. For example Peter watches the show, laughs along, while telling the guy that pushes the buttons what camera to cut to, while also making mental notes about what he would like to do in the edit. It’s a real skill and I was desperately trying to stay alert, concentrating on what he was doing but spent most of the time absorbed in the show, laughing at things that I had written and what the panel was saying. Maybe directing isn’t the job for me. We had a great audience and the show was pretty racy, a lot of fun.

Taken with BlackBerry… On the way to the airport I snapped a photo of one of the billboards that were promoting the show. We thought it was funny that 5 minutes before we were eating breakfast with Glenn and then there he was on the billboard. He is such a great guy and I really admire him. Working on this show is a great pleasure.

This week I had the wonderful experience of seeing UK comic Daniel Kitson perform his new act The Impotent Fury of the Privileged. It’s all about how easy we disregard our surroundings, people, suffering and that compassion appears to be an occasional occurrence and is usually only displayed when we force ourselves to be involved. It was frustratingly poignant and also very funny. He is an intelligent performer and has a massive vocabulary. Part of me was in awe of his performance and the other part wanted to take him home and give him a big hug. If you get a chance to see him, do go because it isn’t like any other gig I have been to.I am being quite cultural this weekend, seeing the lovely Feist tomorrow night with The Hawk, Joel K.B and Princess Nicole at the Metro. Saturday morning The Princess and I are planning to return to the best café in the world…..well in North Sydney at least. I know that is a massive call but we went last weekend and I was so uber impressed and the delicious scrambled eggs in a pastry shell with spinach and yummy fried bread soaked up my killer hangover in a second! Super yum. We are then going shopping so Nicole can purchase an exorbitantly expensive but equally beautiful dress so that she can look fabulous for a work dinner and perhaps spite her superiors with her good looks and taste in Australian designers. La di da. Well worth it.

Saturday arvo I am attending my friends Suzie and Andy’s wedding reception as they got married in December in Hawaii. Rock on. Then Sunday, I am yum cha-ing it up with a group of peeps to farewell Dan, the most motivated person I know in Tv and comedy. Go young son….just don’t forget to cast me in stuff! His web page is fab, worth a look especially to check out his photos from his recent USA trip…we met Ricky Gervais…Gervias I say!

When I was in wedding planning mode, before the non wedding, I had subscribed to lots of crappy wedding email alerts that told you all about ‘creating your special day’ and ‘unique ways to display wedding napkins’ and my favourite ‘spend lots of money on a wedding and then get divorced’.

The web sites that were being promoted in the emails were all about perfection and how the success of the rest of your life hinged on the actual wedding day. They always featured ‘dream couples’ like Jana and Grant, ‘He’s a retired pro-basebell player, and she’s just plain cute!’.

Please hand me my vom bag.

Their wedding couple profile features lots of interesting information that helps formulate a pretty succinct picture of their lives.

Guilty Pleasures: Jana loves the spa and likes taking photographs of all of their dogs. Grant’s are hunting and fishing.

Splurge: Grant likes to splurge on hunting items. Jana likes to buy shoes, handbags, and clothes.

Fight Most About: Where they want to live, how to raise their family, and how much he likes to hunt.

Can you imagine stimulating and intellectual conversations that occur in this household?

Jana:
(Being cute)
Grant honey, I’m going to buy some shoes.

Grant:
Did I tell you about the time I shot a mother deer and left the fawn their standing around looking stupid and alone! It was ace.

Jana:
Oh Grant baby, your toooooo cute! Lets renew our vows.

No I am sure they lead a happy and eventful life.

Vom bag again please.

Anyway the intended direction of this blog, before I got stuck into Ken and Barbie, was that the email subject was “Relive your wedding’ which made me laugh out loud, again looking slightly mad. (eg yesterdays post) .

I will today unsubscribe from this horrendous group for the 32nd time. Why will they not leave me alone? Maybe its wedding cancellation Karma? Maybe the site is run by people like Jana? Bless.

I read about a fantastic new book, Not Quite What I Was Planning: Six-Word Memoirs by Writers Famous & Obscure . The book is a collection of 1,000 six-word memoirs.
For example

Ernest Hemingway
For sale: baby shoes, never worn.

Scott Birch:
Most successful accomplishments based on spite

Amy Sedaris:
Mushrooms. Clowns. Wands. Five. Wig. Thatched

I have been thinking about my 6 word story.

Maybe this.

Laughed heartily, then cried a bit

I like that, sort of.  Please send me your thoughts!

Before I left work tonight we had some Verve to celebrate Bondi Rescues (also made by Cordell Jigsaw) amazing rating this week. Well done them.  The taste of high quality bubby took me back to the boat.
Oh the boat.

Tonight  I am going for Sushi  eat-fest for my mate Alan’s B’day and then I am meeting Princess Nicole to drink too much.
Good times.

I always query people on public transport that laugh out loud for no reason. They are obviously mental.
Voices in their heads, telling them schizophrenic jokes, that they find hilarious and snigger overenthusiastically making their fellow commuters feel uncomfortable.  You try and look away, pretend they are not there.

When on the train with mental people I often concentrate on the train map, looking at all of the coloured lines, connecting the bogan areas of Sydney to the elite. On long journeys this is a challenge. The ipod is also a distraction, but on trains at night with crazies it is often better to be able to hear them creeping up on you so you have some time to run.

Well anyway today I was one of the crazy ‘laugh out loud on public transport’ people and it has changed my whole outlook on them. Granted I did have my ipod on and I was listening to a Russell Brand podcast which made me burst with laughter, so much so that suppressing it, only made me want to laugh more. He is very funny and over the top and Workplace Tim has been peer pressuring me to listen to them for weeks. I often find the best comedy is forced upon me and for some reason I don’t embrace it immediately and then when I do I become obsessed with it.My public laughing was intense. I felt insane and I think the people around me were confused. I don’t look like a nutty hobo, but I was acting like one. Next time I see a public laugher I shall check for headphones or maybe attempt not to judge them at all! How self-righteous of me.

I took some time last night to watch The Flight of the Conchords. A New Zealand duo who have made it big in the US. They have their own HBO show and I adore their silly songs.

Quiet day at work today. We had a studio record last night and the show airs tonight so Thursdays for me are usually tidy up and prepare for next show days.In between work tasks, I did a lot of thinking about some stand up I wrote last night. I was in the zone and I think it is pretty good. Now I just have to learn it and go through the mortifying pre stand up and performance stage. I have said before Stand Up comedy for me is like having a pap smear or knowing you are going to have sex, when you give yourself enough time to think about it and get nervous. Not that I am saying a pap smear and sex are at all alike, well beside the obvious. I am just saying you can think about things too much, put too much pressure on yourself and then get in a tizz. I really arsed that explanation up. I like sex and it is nothing like a pap smear. I mentioned a pap smear and that is gross. Now I have mentioned it again.

Aleisha stop now.

Ok. Anyway I am very focused on getting back on stage with new material so I am going to make it happen, with our without the sheer terror and panic that it inevitably creates In my life, beside I think I perform better when nearly comatose with dread.I am trying at the moment to be uber responsible with my money, which is boring in a way. 

Tonight is late night shopping. I don’t need anything, although I would like to peruse the shops and have a little hit of consumerism.  It is bad because in many aspects of my life I am filled to the brim with self control but this is one of these times that I fell like buying something would be nice. It gives me a little warm faux love feeling. A special momentary consumer glow.

I lay in bed last night blinded by the light of the next-door neighbours 100 watt globe shining through my bedroom window, thinking about what I am grateful for. That just read like a big fat pile of wank. What I mean is I don’t feel like I am lacking in my life. I am grateful for my job and my friends. They are the best. I am single and that’s ok too. I think I may be content. Sure I could be happier but….see there I go again, ruining my contented outlook.

Fuck it, I am going shopping.

 I think it is time that I formally introduce my new friend Ms Blackberry. She is not a hoe and I shall therefore not be labelling her as a ‘crackberry’ (although I do have compulsions to send and check messages constantly, which could be labelled as an addiction, hence I suppose the crackberry nickname). As I said previously Princess Nicole and Justin (junicole) persuaded me to purchase said Blackberry. It was a good decision. I do feel an air of superiority and faux professionalism on the train in the morning pretending to check my empty messages in front of the school children while they play with their Nokia bricks. I like the little roller ball mouse thing that controls all of the things on the screen. The Blackberry also comes with a nice little vinyl case that I can remove from my handbag in a seductive manner, check that my messages are empty seductively again and slide it back into my purse.  It has a mini keyboard which I seemed to have mastered and I spent time on my way home last night drafting a blog in the notes section only to confuse myself as to how to exactly transfer the info back to the computer. I think it has something to do with Bluetooth. What are the benefits besides the sleek case and the roller ball? Well, I receive all of my shitty fun wall facebook messages that I never want anyway in an instant! That’s a plus. I like that the emails that I send from the B Berry also say, ‘Sent via BlackBerry’, apparently that boosts your status in the email world because it is saying;
‘I replied to your email using a tiny keypad, because I simply couldn’t wait to sit at a regular computer screen. I am pretentious and important! You have been deemed worthy of a BlackBerry reply’ What a tosser.  
Concentrating. B Berry user face.  

Well I didn’t even know that button existed???  There are many technical aspects of the B Berry that I have yet to learn how to use. Does it matter? Probably not. It beeps when things happen and I respond like a robot. I don’t think I have time for human interaction anymore. I’m sorry.  Princess Nicole and I had day chats today while she was waiting for her bosses Lamb kebab to be ready. We were discussing the merits of university degrees and how often our employers overlook our academic qualifications and make us do things like….buy a lamb kebab! I suggested that Nicole bring the degree in a frame to work and place it in the eye line of her bosses so that they recognise that she is qualified and let her do some real TV work instead of the catering. Or leave printed copies of her CV lying around?? I am putting it out there that she will run the place in a couple of years and no one will push her around.   

Big TV producer:‘I asked for garlic yogurt not tomato sauce!!!’ 

Princess Nicole:‘Babe listen I did a media degree in the mother land…you know the UK? Come on now. By the way your shirt looks like someone threw up on it!

I am going to take over the company now ok babe? Right, cut this scene it is boring!  We need some more action and better looking people in sexy clothes!’ Oh to be under that regime! I envy future film school students.  

(LeishBlog readers you must remember The Princess is a dainty gorgeous Aussie Brit and all of her speech must be read aloud in a pom accent with special attention to the ‘babe’ at the beginning of most sentences. I love her!!!) 

In one of my 85 jobs before I got a real job I would find creative ways and sometimes obvious ways to communicate to the customer that I was better than, waitressing, retail assistant, bar person. I would say thinks like,

 “That’s 29.95. Thanks… How funny..I’ve only got 29 days left of my degree!’
or
“There you go, one vodka and tonic, gee I could knock a couple of those back, I am studying so hard! Well that’s what post graduate degrees do to you I suppose! Phew!’

I hated the looks that you got when people thought that they were better than you and I know it comes back to not caring what people think but shit man we pay enough for the degrees in time and cash, at least let us boast about them at some stage before we start our working lives back at the bottom again.
 
Oh B Berry just beeped and vibrated I think it needs it’s nappy changed or I am supposed to eat or sleep or answer it, or email or something.  
There it goes again. It must be angry. Don’t want it getting all i-robot on me.   

Sent via BlackBerry

Work work work. Did lots of it today. Monday is always my busy day with show preparation and that.  Also I got beaten in our daily afternoon foosball game by a very smug Tim. Bum you Timothy. He informed me that he had searched through my blogs and found he was only mentioned in relation to foosball.  Yeah well here is something else. Today Tim forwarded on one of the funniest email attachments that I have received in months. I actually laugh cried a little bit when first saw it and it has made my office wall along side my part douche bag Corey and host of ACA, Leila McKinnon quote.
Leila McKinnon:
“Go away and take a good long hard look at yourself.”
Corey:
“I have, everyone has and they love it.”
He is a dick. But she deserved for acting all self righteous when she is the host of A Current Affair. Reality check please Leila.  Anyway here is the image. It is obviously a fake but a good one at that. We called the number and it is the dude that tells the time. Still if you know who put this together drop me a line and I will link back to them! It is a gem! I just watched Lost. It’s currently on the top of my list of things that makes my heart flutter. Not in a sad, lonely looser way either. I just get so excited with all of the twists and turns. I will be sad when it finishes. Oh well I have 1 year and a half up my sleeve and hopefully by then I will be getting regular sex and not trying to solve existential quandaries about an island that may or may not exist, who gets off it, dies etc on a TV show that is defiantly fictional! 

My blog also thanks to a suggestion made by Tim (gee, his ctrl F search will be going mad) has gone into pod cast mode. Don’t worry I haven’t voiced them all yet it is actually a nifty program called odiogo.com. You can download podcasts of a computer voice dude (who does sound surprisingly animated) who reads LeishBlog. It is pretty funny but also handy. He can’t pronounce my name but hearing some of the posts read aloud is quite amusing. Check it out here. In my Big day out post it is especially funny to hear him say,

‘There were lots of girls (I say girls because they had to be tweenies) in their string bikinis and daisy dukes, sucking face with pimply riot boys, who later in the evening no doubts spent some serious time spewing on the sidelines.’

 Sleep beckons. Thanks so much for all of your comments. Please keep reading, commenting, making suggestions!L

I am sitting at my desk attempting to not move my body or allow it to touch anything in the room in case I stain it. That sounds dodgy. I have to confess I have fake tanned. Yes it is a futile and vain task and I am ashamed that I do it but seriously it’s summer, I haven’t been voluntarily getting cancer and my pasty white Tasmanian skin is sometimes off putting when teamed with a small skirt or any kind of bare legged ensemble. Since my naked spray tan experience I have not returned to that world. Instead I use
‘do it yourself guaranteed to smudge or create some weird pattern on your legs or hands that makes you look like a freak self tan’
It’s great and I recommend it to all.  This weekend I was pretty sensible and laid off the booze which makes a fairly average and debauched free blog entry. No, don’t leave. Seriously I will come up with something scandalous by the end. I promise. (?)  

Anyway Friday I shared a delightful meal with my friends Rani and Anthony and met all of their friends which was great. You can never know too many people, particularly when they are all lawyers! I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, having lawyers as friends is pretty handy. I haven’t had to use any of them yet, but I would like the opportunity to say one day ‘
I’m calling my lawyer’
When really I’m just calling one of my mates.
I would also like to say
‘You’ll be hearing from my lawyer!’  and slam a door dramatically. 

I would like you to know that as much as this sounds great I have just knocked on wood that none of these things happen because

a) I can’t afford a lawyer 
b) I am sure my mouth or maybe even this blog, will get me in some sort of legal trouble one day so I should probably cease and desist on this matter. 

Last night Flat Mate Mick and I ate pizza and watched some DVDs, actually 2 of the most opposite films in history, Superbad and The Lives of Others.  The first was about teenage dudes truing to get laid and the second film focused on the Stasi agents in East Berlin during the 1980’s and what shits they were.

 Today Princess Nicole and I ate eggs and drank tea and then on my request we ventured to Bondi Junction to peruse the shops. I enjoy shopping with the Princess because she is honest. When I pick up something that she disapproves of there is no uncomfortable pauses or hesitation she comes out and says it like
‘Babe that is dreadful’
or
‘Babe you have got to embrace your cleavage stop going for this high neck stuff!’ I love it! Shopping with the Princess is also a challenge when it comes to spending money. Nicole has a lovely talent of making it eliminating reason when it comes to dropping coin. For example. We were in Mooks. Nice shop. Nice stuff. I spotted a beautiful ruby red duffle coat. I’ve always wanted one of those. What for Aleisha? It is summer, no? Yes, it is summer but I was captivated by the shape, the cute toggles and the little tartan hood.  

Princess Nicole:
‘Babe, you must try it on……go on, put it on!’ 

To the delight of the shop lady, Princes Nicole continued to encourage me. 

LeishBlog:
‘I don’t know…..it’s summer, I mean it’s nice and I love the colour…but I live in Sydney, when the hell will I ever wear it? The lowest temperature is about 20 degrees, I mean really…’
Princess Nicole:
‘You can wear it in Tasmania when you go home and on all of those ski holidays that you keep talking about….’ 

She is an astute player our Nicole!
Of course the jacket was a gem, it was stunning and I literally had to peel myself out of it and run to he exit to prevent a purchase. But that jacket it a bit like a man that I can’t get out of my head……when under the spell, you forget about the bad things and just become fixated on the good points……must fight the urges……22 degrees outside…..could go and live in a colder climate to wear the jacket?……snap out of it woman! Right. After a brief pause to take a few calming deep breaths I shall continue.  

After the jacket, we went to lots of beautiful shops. I enjoy window shopping. I like to try things on, I like shops that have funky feel good music that I can bop to in the change rooms and I like shops where sales assistants don’t bother you the second you walk through the door. You talk to me before I touch a rack of clothes, I leave.  The Princess found her purchase of the day at Armani Exchange. A pretty nice jacket/woollen/cardigan thing that really suited her and she declared, ‘It’s mine’ as soon as she picked it up. 

We stopped for a light refreshment when Nicole discovered that she had lost the parking ticket. We both freaked out thinking the parking people were going to make us pay the maximum daily amount which is Sydney may well be the soul of your first born child plus a down payment on a one bedroom apartment. We abandoned the shopping to rectify this problem to discover that they were going to charge us $30 ticket replacement fee. Shits. We paid it and Nicole called the ticket machine and ‘arsehole’ before driving off.  

So due to the car panic I left our expedition empty handed, a bit proud of myself that I showed restraint but I also had a super day with Nicole. Now the working week starts again. Another show, more words to write. Can’t wait.    

Valentines day, even when I was in a long-term, has never really been a significant day of celebration for me. I realise now of course I can’t say that without looking like an acidic singleton.

‘She’s whinging about valentines day because she didn’t get anything!’

I hear you say. Yeah well I’m not. I don’t really care about bright scarlet coloured gifts, love hearts and puke worthy teddy bears. Suppose I wouldn’t knock back a shag, but we won’t go there.

Lucy our eternal office optimist declared this morning, that we must clear a special space to display the mountains of flowers that all of the single girls will be receiving. Yeah, I didn’t exactly jump at that suggestion and my desk remains in the same state, covered in newspapers and trash magazines.

In the spirit of the day I did spend a couple of minutes in my morning newspaper perusal, scowling a selection of some of the most bizarre and nauseating declarations of love, in 28 words or less in the Daily Telegraph classifieds. Haikus, baby names, nicknames, anything to do with cupcakes, pumpkins, love hearts, cupids, poorly rhyming poems and cheap people that say things like ‘luv 2 u, 2mrw 4eva’. …..heave.

‘Again; she’s whinging about Valentines Day because no one dedicated a 2cm by 2cm space in the newspaper to her ‘hazel eyes and love the ties’

I think if someone where to send me something for Valentines Day I would perhaps like this.

That is officially sad!

My last thoughts on the day will be the acknowledgment of the more macabre aspects of the day, The Valentines day massacre. A prohibition mass murder where six members of the Bugs Moran gang were executed with sub-machine guns by Al Capone’s dudes. Yeah great day for candles and red roses!

Good times!!
Yesterday Lucy took a big step that I thought I should document, cutting up her credit cards. A big up to her for going the hack. Although I despise my fantastic plastic, it has a home in my wallet and my other cards would be distraught without their debt-ridden leader. Also I know the number off by heart so cutting it up would only stop the swiping.

The working week has nearly concluded. I have nothing more to say about that.
L

Oh what a tangled web we weave,
When first we practise to deceive!On Friday night I had the peculiar experience of sitting across from a girl that was oblivious to the fact that I had shared Christmas and a bed with her boyfriend. They weren’t going out at the time, I suppose you would use the old Friends adage ‘they were on a break!’ but they have since rekindled their relationship and she is none the wiser. From appearances she seems to be in love and happy. He told me astutely that they agreed not to share ‘what and who they had done’ during their break. I am unconvinced and if I were her I would be gagging for information especially when it comes to him getting involved with people that are in their inner circle. It seems a fairly convenient excuse.It bothered me a bit that on Friday night, he was basking in the idea that his dirty secret and the girlfriend were sitting just centimetres apart, chatting and having a jolly time. Actually he appeared quite chuffed. If I had known that they were going to get back together I wouldn’t have made the effort that I did at Christmas and I still admit it was romantic and fun but now I see that he is about to enter a world of pain. I mean a path of deception has to lead somewhere and generally the destination isn’t that picturesque. Oh I love using shitty metaphors! Anyway who am I to judge? I kept my mouth shut, chatted, laughed and studied her to see if she had any idea what was going on. I am guessing not. It was fascinating stuff but I left the gathering with a sense of guilt that we were in the know and she wasn’t.Looking at he and she, I realise that I have come out on top. Actually I am feeling better than I have in a year. Content, happy and not clogged up with bad things, I love my job, my friends and I feel like the decisions that I have made in the past 6 months have been the best of my life.
One other surprising outcome from Friday night was a declaration of adoration for me by a close friend. I wasn’t ready for this and because I was shocked I think I handled it badly. I sort of wanted to reverse it and of course I am flattered but really I am confused as to how he thought I would react. Good Lord.Saturday was a welcome relief, I frocked up and headed to Hayley and Robs beautiful wedding. It was such a stunning day and in a very un-Leish like way I even got all choked up. I have known Hayley since we were in Grade 7 and to see her so content and happy and to have someone who loves her as much as Rob, it was magic. As well as the celebrations I also met some new friends, Rani and Anthony, who live in Sydney and coincidentally Anthony writes comedy. They are very interesting and I look forward to getting to know them. You can never have too many friends in a city like this.

As Suze drove me to the airport, I said to her “I think I am sort of glad I am getting off this island today, it’s all starting to feel like Lost with crazy back stories and intricate relationships, where everyone is connected to each other, I really don’t think I can be fucked ”It felt nice getting home and sleeping in my own bed, thinking about the week ahead. It’s a big one for the show. Ratings ahoy!!!Lastly here is Pete Rowsthorn and I after the show last week. We had a matching t-shirt thing going on. He had bird and I had little cars printed. He said he was at harmony with nature and I was promoting killing it! Love it

 Do you think women over analyse things more than men? For example text messages are probably the most evaluated form of communication on the planet. I’ve said before; they are dangerous and they leave too much up to the imagination. As Princess Nicole would say it is very easy to paraphrase and scrutinize a 14 word message only for it to have nothing to do with what you actually thought it was all about.  I don’t really have a point here except for the fact I received a surprising email on the weekend that threw me because I couldn’t quite get what it meant and I am now too much of a toughie to actually ask. As a woman, lady, whatever we are called…..chicks like to sit around and talk about what we think boys are thinking.  

At dinner on Saturday night, with Joel K.B, Princess Nicole and Rowan the Hawk we did just that and the four of us all managed to come up with different explanations about what the mystery email meant. What hope does the common man have with devices such as facebook and emails and sms. We never really say what we want. We just hint at things to scope the other people out. Desperate to not make a proper move in cse they reject you. Bloody games.I want to rewind 20 years when there weren’t mobile phones and people actually had to hit on people in person, or write notes with a tick a box responses. How easy would that have been? People are saying that facebook is the next dating revolution but quite frankly if I want to be poked I would like to do it in person if you get what I am saying?
We spotted this wall and had to climb on it to have our picture taken……Album cover or what? 

This weekend, after going to Melbourne to studio shoot, I am flying back to Sydney briefly then going back to the airport to travel to Hobart. I have a wedding to attend and I have spent all week fussing over what to wear. With Hobart, you never really know if it is going to be 6 degrees or 28 and you have to be ready for all possibilities. One of the habits I have yet to cast off, living in NSW is the inevitable, ‘Shall I take a jumper’ conversation that I have each time we are heading out. There is always a resounding ‘NO’ but I feel a bit like Arthur in The hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy, taking his towel everywhere. I need my cardigan/ jacket/ jumper, in case the weather drops 20 degrees in 15 minutes and we are left stranded somewhere and I become cold. I hate being cold and I love pulling out the jumper when everyone else has none. I feel warm and glad that I have walked around with an overly full handbag for the entire evening.  

I think my job is making me a bit more current affairs smart. I read all of the papers everyday (still love checking out celebrity shit) but I feel that with this extra knowledge I would go quite well in an intellectual semi drunk pub conversation about politics or world affairs. I want to expand my knowledge to be able to have biting retorts about the British economy and  interest rates…….actually I don’t, the people that talk about that stuff are wankers and that isn’t me. I am still happy and proud that I am up to date about Britney’s mental institution experiences, her custody battles and parental feuds, Kate Hudson’s baby bump (food baby) and Amy Winehouse sucking on that Crack Pipe.  At Christmas lunch after sitting through me talking about celebrities and the inane but what I think was still entertaining conversation, I asked Adam if I was talking too much….
‘No they like you…you’ve turned this into celebrity central…. and to think I was going to start a discussion about Proust pffft!’  Lastly I have unknowingly created an uber superpower. By brining Princess Nicole and Justin together, they have become Junicole. By the power of grey skull, what have I done?
On Sunday we went to the movies then sat around discussion boys, dickheads and fashion. After the movies my phone starting beeping randomly and I soon discovered that it hadn’t sent the last 20 messages out (about 4 days worth). It had decided to send them all at once. Well that was convenient. People thought I was mad, receiving messages like ‘meet you in 10’….like 3 days ago.   
Junicole got to work, together deciding that I should buy a new phone on impulse after I said that I might like to own a Blackberry so I could receive all of my facebook messages 24 hours a day (like I want to know who is asking me to slaughter a ninja and what lesbian type or sex and the city character I could be?). We headed to Myer were Junicole said, ‘Just buy one, don’t think just buy!’. Oh they were god, but I used my She Ra powers and fought off their super peer pressure. Only to be told by Nicole on the escalator. ‘Babe, that was disappointing, you should have lived!….you should have bought the phone! You could have been checking your emails now….updating that blog!!!!’.Oh well. I am sure I will buy one next time I see them. 
A Blurry Junicole

Justin spotted a Tyra Banks manequin in Myer! ‘you lok good girl’ 

Doubly lastly I downloaded lost, episode 1 season 4. It is like a long lost lover returning. Oh my god I love that show, the conspiracies, the theory discussions….I am a Lostie, I am a nerd. I love it and I’m not ashamed. So many people I know say ‘I gave up on that in season 1’, you well you are idiots and you are missing out, so suck on it. Ok moving on. If there are Leishblog people that like Lost I want to hear from you! Here are 2 of my favourite discussion pages but beware, there are spoilers so only read if you want that info! (Please note, Princes Nicole wanted me to let you know, so you wouldn’t get the wrong idea that she wanted to look like Baraberella not Xanadu in my last post!)

Last night Princess Nicole came over to watch Out of The Question with Flat Mate Mick and I. She is an excellent houseguest and brought along so homemade banana bread, no it was cake and it was deliciously moist and yummy.Watching the show was fun but also infuriating as our shit arse reception for the telly played its usual routine, being perfectly clear until the show you want to watch starts and then it turns to shit. After panicking and me doing my usual ‘Our TV is a fuck face’ routine while fiddling with the antenna, we all sat on the couch and as long as we didn’t move, we could see the picture.
It was sort of strange watching the show go to air after seeing it all happen in the studio but I felt its was pretty good and everyone laughed so that was satisfying.After the show Nicole and I took to the interweb to search for human hair extensions. Nicole has decided that she wants long and lustrous hair, like ‘Olivia Newton-John in Xanadu’. I don’t know much about the hair extension business but apparently people sell their hair in places like China and Russia and then the hair is weaved into rich peoples hair here.  I would like long gorgeous flowing hair but I feel apprehensive about having someone else’s hair attached to my head. I a mean I freak out if I see a random stray hair in a bathroom. I don’t know how I would cope if I had a whole head of someone’s hair attached to me.

We looked at a lot of web sites and boy it is expensive. Princess Nicole declared that I should have ‘Asian hair’ and she would have ‘Russian hair’. Oddly some of the web sites declared that the hair was ‘virginal’. This led to a lively discussion where we pondered about what sort of people would enter the hair selling trade and also what the hell-virginal hair is. The websites explained that the hair had never been chemically treated or coloured which led us to believe that the hair was defiantly from children. There are probably little bald Russian kids being teased at school so some woman in Paddington can walk around with Virginal hair. I wondered if hair extension recipients were similar to transplant patients who sometimes feel emotionally connected to the donor. Maybe with hair extension you have flashbacks of all of your hair being lopped off or visions of you having to sell your hair because you can’t afford to eat. Even with this knowledge and my abhorrence of other people’s hair I am intrigued and left with a slight desire to have virginal hair down to my arse. This is probably because Princess Nicole has a power over me where she says ‘Babe lets get human hair extensions’  I jump. …….I think it is commonly called ‘Peer Pressure’ but I bloody love it and life’s always exciting when you are hanging around with a Princess!